When????

When will someone follow the words they give to others?  I read a poem the other day where a poet said to look at the world through someone else's eyes.  It isn't for your own reflection but instead to see the world from their point of view.  The poet went on to say many things that make perfect sense and are how I try to live my life.  I'll admit I'm not perfect and sometimes I may mess up at it but I do my best and pray for guidance to do better. Now I wonder does this poet live in the way he advises others to live or are they just pretty words on paper to him?

When will a person's size not be something to judge for the quality of the person?  My body is obese, I admit that but it isn't who I really am.   I am a teacher, who loves my students with all my heart even when they drive me absolutely insane.  I am an aunt who dotes on my niece and nephews, doing everything I can to help make their lives better and giving them all the love I can.  I am a daughter who is the keeper of my mother's worries, the one who giggles at some of my dad's funny looks as mom says something again.  I am a friend who will attempt to do all I can to be there for all of my friends.  I am a human with a heart that breaks easily and a mind that asks so many questions.  Last but never least, I am a follower of the one true Christ, He is my Savior, the One who I put all of my trust in.  I wonder if they can see all of that in the fat they make fun of and find disgusting and if they are blind to the rest.

When will it be acceptable again to not spread your legs for any Tom, Dick, or Harry just to find romance?  I have a heart just like all the men and women around me but do you not see it because I happen to have larger breasts?  Can't you see beyond those or above them to find out who I really am?  Do I need to spread my legs for you to play within their openness just to find out more about you?  Why do I need to give you something free when you are giving me nothing worth keeping?  Are you even worth my time if you can't take the time to wine and dine me before wanting to jump in the bed?

When will I find the man who makes me feel like I'm the only woman in the world?  Is he even out there? I'll admit there are some amazingly large shoes to fill because I've loved deeply and loved with all of myself but the one I loved so is no longer of this world.  I don't want to live all of my love life in dreams and memories but alas tis all I have to go on for now.  When shall I be kissed as the kisses in my dreams, have a man whisper the sweetest things in my ear or write me beautiful lines of love and devotion?


When will I be happy with me and not worry about others?  I am in the process of losing weight and changing my outer me hoping that will help.  Yet I also know I need to accept me for me and most of the time I do just fine about it and I know I'm ok with who I am but there are those moments.  Those moments when someone calls me names, or tells me "call me when you're ready for a sexual relationship" that make me wonder if I need to change my inner me.  Am I too old fashioned for this world today?  Will my emotions and beliefs keep me forever from being in a great relationship?

All I know is I don't know any of the answers and yet I know I can trust in the Lord to help me through each day.